Posted by kara lynne on September 16, 2003, at 1:26:11
In reply to Re: I feel like I want to die without him. octopus » kara lynne, posted by octopusprime on September 15, 2003, at 22:17:37
Hi octopus.
I like you very much. Something about you is very real; you transmit right through the computer--maybe because you know them so well. (I also liked your analogy.)You do seem to understand this well. I thought I did, but I was so much older then---I'm younger than that now.
I was ok, then I was a raving lunatic. I called (see below) but he didn't answer. It might have registered that I called. He knows I'm desperate. He's detached. I'm in some kind of primal fury. People kill out of jealousy. Doesn't it come from some Original Attachment? That's how Desperate It Feels. You know, there really isn't enough information out there as to how to get through this kind of thing. There should be more.
I am having the most hell being alone. I'm ok if I'm being babysat (for the most part), but being alone is not good. I am a grown up and there really is no one I know that could just come over to stay the night, so I have to go it alone. And try not to pick up the phone again.
It's like I can't live until he un-rejects me.
I think he was considering someone while waiting to see if things might passively work out for us. It's his M.O. to be with someone all the time, and to have someone waiting wouldn't surprise me a bit. Since my letter, I guess he has carte blanche. Can we sit and think about how many ways he thinks she is better than me?
I really need help.
Please excuse this broken record.
poster:kara lynne
thread:260066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/260536.html