Posted by fallsfall on September 17, 2003, at 21:19:12
In reply to Re: Just Say No, posted by kara lynne on September 17, 2003, at 20:08:12
Pain. How do we endure pain? I understand what it is to have pain that can't be endured.
The way that I made my pain over leaving my therapist endurable was that I recognized that she had made mistakes. I do splitting (black and white thinking), so when I finally saw that she had made mistakes I was able (finally) to see that she wasn't perfect. In fact, to me, she seemed to stop existing. Anyway, once I wasn't seeing her as perfect any longer it was a lot easier to leave. It did take a lot for me to see that she had made mistakes.
I don't know that you split, so that technique might not work as well for you as it did for me.
Meds can be helpful, has your pdoc prescribed any tranquilizers for you? I only take them when things get really bad, but when things are bad they are really helpful.
Could you set a goal (say the end of the month) and promise yourself that you won't have contact with him before then? When that time comes you need to reevaluate whether you want to set a new goal (yes) or contact him (no). That way you don't have to look at surviving the rest of your life. Just the next two weeks.
Ice cream.
Yes, you do need to mean your goodbye. I would love for you to say goodbye forever to him and mean it. I'm not sure you are ready to do that. But that doesn't mean that you need to reconnect with him. There are other options (like the goal stuff above).
I know this is so hard for you, and I'm so impressed at how you keep fighting for yourself. I'll be your cheering squad.
poster:fallsfall
thread:260066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/261173.html