Posted by IsoM on February 20, 2002, at 19:01:04
In reply to i miss having friends, posted by LiLi80 on February 19, 2002, at 13:53:55
LiLi, you admit that you are sad & you perceive them as happy. How happy are they? How deep is their happiness, or is it only the shallow laughter of people who are afraid to look into themselves.
It's cruel to say this but I think the majority of people are so shallow that a fingernail would scratch right through their veneer & hit rock-bottom. People who've never suffered, never have had a chance to develop the depth of soul that someone who's suffered can understand. It doesn't mean everyone who's had problems develops a real soul - some still remain troubled but shallow. But I sincerely believe until one has suffered, or borne the pains of others & helped them, they'll always be missing a part of true humanity.
Like Chris sort of said, we're perceived as dorks, but it's the bland, laughing people who are. What were the conversations with your former 'friends' about? Was it silly, everyday stuff about boys, clothes & fashion, fun things to do? That's fine too, not every conversation has to be deep & insightful, but how often did others reveal compassion, understanding, humility, & empathy in their conversations? How often was it about things that REALLY matter?
In my 52 years, I have one very close friend I've had for 32 years now. There's a cord that has bound her heart to mine & vice versa, all these years & miles between us. No one else will ever grow that close with me. I have a number of other good friends and buckets & buckets of acquaintances. My close friends, & my one best friend, were never the 'popular' ones, but their qualities shone through so much that I could tell almost immediately that they would be life-long friends.
I generally find popular people to be boring - nice but boring. They coast along on their popularity without having to put much effort into a friendship. Not true of all popular people but most seem like that. True friends are like gems among rocks. There's lots of rocks but few are gems & most aren't recognised as a gem till some polishing is done. Gems don't just fall into our open hands either. We have to do some digging to find them & then spend time polishing them. But, LiLi, they are out there for us to find & cherish.
poster:IsoM
thread:18498
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020214/msgs/18607.html