Posted by wishingstar on January 2, 2007, at 18:00:16
In reply to Re: falling apart » wishingstar, posted by Scentedgarden on January 2, 2007, at 16:42:55
thanks.. im thinking about taking a hot bath tonight and maybe some hot chocolate later.. trying to comfort myself. but the reality of what im doing TO MYSELF just isnt going to go away. I almost feel like it's unfair to comfort myself to make myself feel better about doing something that is crappy to begin with. I'll comfort myself when I stop being such an idiot, but for now I dont feel like I deserve it.
It's not that I dont know what I want to say, or that I forget.. I just dont say it. I cant. I dont know how to talk to her and say what I want her to hear. I know how I feel, but how do you tell someone that? I know that sounds ridiculous, but I just cant do it. I can tell stories and describe and answer questions but none of that hits it.
I think I am going to wait until tomorrow to decide on Thurs like you suggested. Part of me wants to go, but the big part of me knows it wont matter and I'll probably feel worse, so I'm just not sure.
I do appreciate the support. thank you. im sorry im being so negative. The support does help.
poster:wishingstar
thread:718579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/718615.html