Posted by alexandra_k on December 10, 2018, at 23:02:35
In reply to Re: I don't know what to do, posted by alexandra_k on December 9, 2018, at 10:07:37
and i am in a foul foul foul foul foul foul foul foul foul foul foul foul f*ck*ng mood, indeed.
back to the whole 'you can't get anything done if your community wants to murder you' notion.
i already know this.
that's why i've spent most of my life wishing i was dead / had never been born.
other people project and externalise. i internalise. i always have. i always wondered about what was wrong with me and there was never any shortage of people to tell me what was wrong with them (in the name of telling me what was wrong with me).
there were two different leader people in the interview. one just talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and didn't seem to care what i had to say. so i just sort of nodded and agreed and went along with it. i wasn't sure what he was up to but he was acting yeah.
about criticism. and i suppose i didn't articulate it properly... with respect to the difference between contstructive and destructive criticism but i suppose i did say something about how you need to blow off criticism sometimes like when someone doesn't like your haircut and they hassle you about it... but that sometimes it helps you strive to make things better... and then he mentioned bullying near the end.
and then a lady who was very... deferential. i think. and asked me what i thought. and was all 'perfect, that's just perfect whatever you think is just perfect'. asking about leadership styles. and i talked about sheepdog trials and the sheep leading the other sheep and the sheepdog and then the handler telling the sheep where to go. and about how you hope that teams have a diversity of people with different strengths and you can defer to peoples strengths and take consensus where you can get it. and how some people need to speak up but others need to pipe down because they are nervous talkers.
anyway, whatever.
i just feel so powerless that the university decided that it would not allow me to process in the time i have been working towards all year. i mean i did a timeline and showed how what i planned was comperable to an honours student workload and it credits similarly... and sure they were all 'you can't do that' but typically people bully each other in the arts. tell each other that their work is rubbish and try and get people to take 10 or 20 years to do their phd (because it's cheap / free labour).
so i just hunkered down and got it done. like it was any other piece of undergraduate work. get it done: hand it in. Or post it off. so they can get on with assessing it.
but it seems that there is some unwritten rule that the supervisor gets to call 'rubbish rubbish rubbish' on it over the course of the year... that the supervsior needs to accept the submission, even.
but supervsiors will not accept their students submissions in a timely fashion. because then they lose their slave labour.
so...
so that wasn't ever going to happen.
so i just sent it in for them to send to externals.
anyway... yet another year i get myself into greater debt. yet another year my work counts for... rubbish. i paid them. they didn't do their work.
what am i going to do about it?
what can i do about it?
just stop in the work and die, alex. same as everyone else. what, you think you are special?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1102325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20181106/msgs/1102374.html