Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2018, at 2:52:03
In reply to Re: I don't know what to do, posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2018, at 2:44:03
but i do know they are not getting more work out of me.
i said: evidence of completion by december 7 and i need to be finished up by february 25.
i meant that.
that's not negotiable.
that's the pivot.
and that is why it is the only thing they are hell bent on getting moving.
if you say 'do whatever you want but don't do x'
they will go
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxi remember that. that feeling. that urge. i don't know what it was. but, yeah. i remembe rthat. from when i was younger. how i would test clniicians. how i would think that if they couldn't pass my tests they wouldn't be strong enough to work with me / be solid for me. i used ot push, yeah.
but these are highly paid people. highly paid to do a job. i got myself into debt to subsidise their jobs.
duty of care doesnt mean anything to these people.
they just see themselves as head of a hierarchy which means they have the power to bully.
how am in supposed to interact with that?
i've seen it on previously-med guy. you pretend to be anxious and concerned and supplicant. you seek reassurance from them. you be all like 'i don't know if this is okay -- what do you think? i'm really worried?' and you stay that way until other people reassure you and reassure you again and reassure you again and again and then belly laugh and love your supplication. they give you permission to continue... that's how it's done.
i can't do that.
i don't know that i can explain it. for me... it has the flavor of sexual favors or something. i mean... i have a repulsion... i can't / won't do that.
i feel very strongly that you shouldn't need to ask permission of others to do whatever.
but i guess i am not a hierarchical person.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1102325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20181106/msgs/1102383.html