Posted by Solstice on December 21, 2010, at 4:14:14
In reply to Re: Assumptions are presumptuous » Solstice, posted by violette on December 21, 2010, at 0:04:29
> "Is that what I'm doing? You live inside my head and have personal knowledge of what I'm 'attempting to do'... I'd like to suggest that it might work better for you to make a bunch fewer assumptions about me, about where my heart is, and about what my motives are."
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> I can't be sure Soltice, but it sounds like what you said above about Alex's post, is what you said below about others' posts. Did it occur to you that some people here might view Bob as a forum administrator, rather than an 'authority figure' through childhood trauma lenses? And those who had no traumas...?I think the variety among people is enormous. I have great respect for it. It's been in my responses to Muffled that I've referred to authority figures and trauma. Muffled has described how things here that others might consider minor here tend to be intensely triggering for her. I didn't realize the potential for people to read something I write that is specifically directed at a specific individual's pain, and assumes that I am writing to everyone - or assumes that I believe that what may be true for one person is true for everyone.
> Not meant in a negative way, i just think sometimes you are my cognitive opposite, and i think it's interesting. Much of your stated thoughts - are the opposite of mine .I mean this in enteraining way (holiday stress can cause odd behavior sometimes)..Did you ever take Meyers Briggs? I'd guess ESTP...you describe things very concretely.INTJ, actually. Twice. Perhaps that proves my point that it's a mistake to make assumptions about others. I describe things concretely when that is going to serve my purpose, but I am actually much more abstract than concrete. Perhaps you have missed my heavy use of analogies. That said, I'm glad to know that you are entertained :-)
I'm not sure what you mean by "holiday stress can cause odd behavior sometimes." If my behavior appears odd to you, then it must just be a characteristic of mine, because I am not under any holiday stress. My way of celebrating the holidays is very simple. I'm not much into commercialism.
> "Those of us who still carry throbbing wounds of trauma will have a more difficult time 'hearing' Bob charitably because what he says gets filtered through the pain of the particular trauma we carry....it is very, very easy for me to see and relate to the difficulties I see here in how Bob is perceived through the wounding experiences of our trauma histories."
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> P.S, as you might guess, I interpreted Alex's statement totalllllyyyy different that you did.The quote above is mine - so I'm not sure what we're talking about here.
> I thought she was referring to a suggestion made by you that some will respond more positively to peer criticism about posts as opposed to Bob critisim about posts (rather than saying YOU were doing something) (?):No.. Alex would be the one who needs to clarify - but I don't think you caught what she was referring to. It was not the dialogue between Muffled and I about something Dinah said that you have extracted here. Alex was referring to a post from someone else about what took place between Bob and Christempowered where many objected to Bob requiring CE to rephrase. So your interpretation does not appear to be based on the context of what Alex's comments were based on.
In her comment below, I believe Alex is referring in general to her belief that I am trying to do what Bob does - specifically when he makes comments referring to transferrence issues between posters and him. That has been offensive to a lot of people here - which in my opinion is understandable. I have tried to offer possible reasons for Bob doing that - i.e. he's a psychiatrist and has been immersed in thinking along those lines, etc. Alex's comment below indicates that she has taken my attempt to provide reasons for his transference references to mean that I am also suggesting that a lotta transference is going on here. And I happen to be of the opinion that transference goes on all the time - everywhere. I think our life experiences influence us continually - and transference in relationships is the norm. But that doesn't mean that I think what Alex believes I think.
> > If people don't appreciate it when Bob encourages them to consider their issues instead of considering his behavior I'm not sure why they would appreciate it any more when someone else attempts to do this for him...
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> "Is that what I'm doing? You live inside my head and have personal knowledge of what I'm 'attempting to do'... and you are satisfied that your impression is fact?"So Violette - it can be hard to accurately interpret something if you haven't been able to stay involved in the various threads that were involved. A lot of misunderstandings are created when we make assumptions and jump to conclusions - rather than just asking in a curious sort of way - to get clarification.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:973963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/974194.html