Posted by Solstice on December 22, 2010, at 21:36:42
In reply to re: jumping in-Solstice, posted by muffled on December 22, 2010, at 19:03:01
I just adore you, Muff!
You're exactly right about much of what you said, of course. And I'm pretty sure I've made at least one post somewhere that pretty much says the same thing. I know I'm new to everyone - and it is always present in my mind that my one-sided relationship with everyone here means I'm very comfortable here, but the community has no reason to be comfortable with me. Although I'm fully aware that there are a few who might not enjoy me much - overall I have felt welcomed and included. I think it would be unrealistic for me to think I could show up anywhere and be universally liked, no matter how I do it. But I'm happy here. I'm really not perplexed :-) - although I might express myself in ways that could be interpreted as my looking perplexed if I'm responding to a post where I've been characterized in a negative way, or I'm responding to erroneous negative conclusions about me and my motives. To me, it (perplexed) just helps diffuse it some.
And I don't have much (if any) experience in online forums or groups. So there likely are, like a dog park, certain social rituals that I'm simply ignorant of because of my lack of experience. I don't know whatever it is that I don't know. I just always do my best, and my heart is in the right place. In my experience, that usually eventually proves itself. There have been plenty of posters who have been very generous in their charitable interpretations of me.. and I think it's reasonable for others to want to hold me at an arm's length while they figure out what to make of me. There have only been a handlful of reactions that might fit your analogy of 'aggression' - and although I will usually directly confront it, the moment it subsides, I am in restoration mode.
I don't know if you know about Myers Briggs, but Violette thought I'd be an ESTP. I took a Meyers Briggs probably 10 years ago, and was a clear INTJ. Took it again with career counseling about a year ago, and again came up as INTJ.Violette's belief that I looked like an ESTP got me curious - so I read ESTP and and was floored at how very much UNlike me it was. I then read INTJ and was equally floored at reading who I know myself to be. Here's a link if you're curious:
http://typelogic.com/intj.html
and it was of particular interest to me that it really does describe how I am here as well. But I really am harmless... and I really do care about this place and the people here.
Solstice
> Well, just to throw my exalted thots in(least they exalted to ME!!!).
> Solstice, I think you perplexed.
> But see, I think what it is, is that your pespective is diff than others here.
> You been here awhile, but no posting. So you kinda 'know' people and the place by observation.
> This place is not new to you, the people are not new to you.
> But see, for the rest of us, YOU ARE NEW. Cuz mebbe you could see us, but we couldn't see you.
> So to people here, it appears that this 'person', just kinda drops in here and seems to know it all.
> Its kinda freaky.
> NOT to say thats what it is! But see, I am thinking that that is the 'feeling' people get because of the circumstances.
> Don't mean they are wrong, don't mean you are wrong.
> Just the way it is.
> See, its like the dog park....
> There's 'rules' that dogs are supposed to adhere to.
> So eg, when they arrrive at the park, there's The Approach, The Initial Assessment, The circling Sniff, then hopefully, signs of interest in play.
> So in your case Soltice, your kinda like the dog that comes flying into the park all exited saying 'lets GO!!!'. Which gets the other dogs upset, and can cause agression!!! Whagh!!!
> So, I hope I not making you feel bad, cuz you got good ideas.
> But ya, I kinda been feeling a bit that way myself, kinda overwhelmed. Cuz I not even had a chance to sniff you yet!!! ROFL!!!
> So, I only posted this cuz you seemed a little perplexed.
> And this IMHO may be part of the reason your getting what you get from people.
> Like I say, not right or wrongs here,just people being people, or dogs being dogs lol!
> My thots.
poster:Solstice
thread:973963
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/974341.html