Posted by ClearSkies on November 24, 2007, at 21:12:43
In reply to I am impressed » ClearSkies, posted by Racer on November 24, 2007, at 13:16:18
I try to find some solace in your words. Now, when the house is quiet, and the people have gone to bed (FIL discharged from hospital and ready to go home tomorrow), I find that my biggest problem is a lack of reserves. No quiet space to hide away, no ability to steal some quiet time to be alone without appearing to be antisocial. Which, quite possibly, I am. Too much togetherness, and not enough substance. Too much volume, and not enough content. I want what I cannot have, and that truly is madness, and from that there is no respite.
Yes, I found some good qualities in the day, but they did not sustain me. What I took away with me was my bitterness and a hardened resolve that I don't recall from years past. I'm not sure I like this, but there's growth in there too. Maybe my T will help find the sweet in the bitterness with me.
Thanks Racer, and everyone else, for reading, for listening, for putting up with me. I'm rubbed raw by now, and looking forward to several days of numbed nothingness with an empty house and no t.v. and maybe some reading time with a cat purring on my lap, which is really, all I wanted all along.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:796666
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071026/msgs/796889.html