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And I feel so ungrateful

Posted by ClearSkies on November 23, 2007, at 11:31:05

In reply to What a turkey of a Thanksgiving, posted by ClearSkies on November 23, 2007, at 9:58:27

Harboring so much resentment during a holiday that supposed to be so full of thanksgiving. I got it all wrong this year.

So let me look for the light in the midst of my storm:

I didn't drink, didn't even consider sneaking off and hiding one, or getting high, or taking more pills than I was prescribed.
Dinner was fine.
The dishes were cleaned for me after dinner.
The jigsaw puzzle took all day to complete, and saw a diversion for me from my self-appointed duties.
My FIL will be released after being kept overnight tonight for observation.
Thanksgiving meal leftovers.

What I want to give away from this year's Thanksgiving: my anger. My level of contribution - it's vastly out of proportion to the rest of the celebrants, and I definitely took it all upon myself to do, nobody ever asked me to knock myself out the way I've been doing. I want to be able to kick back and loll around on the sofa like everyone else in the house is doing. (Where will the meal come from, then? Got me - but it won't be from my efforts on the day, that's for certain.)

I'm so ashamed for feeling this resentment and anger. I'm so angry with my husband for being so passive - he's like this black hole of passivity. Any anger that I might cast his way just gets completely swallowed up in his refusal to rebuke or rebut. Instead, he tells me to relax and take it easy, which only angers me more.

Lots of fodder for therapy.


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poster:ClearSkies thread:796666
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071026/msgs/796675.html