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Re: I feel like doing a bad bad thing *trigger* » Deneb

Posted by JenStar on May 27, 2005, at 10:17:12

In reply to I feel like doing a bad bad thing *trigger*, posted by Deneb on May 26, 2005, at 20:07:27

hi Deneb,
you asked if it all makes sense - I think it DOES, sort of, if you dig down & find out what's going on. Here's my thoughts on your situation, and I apologize in advance if they are all off the mark!

It sounds like you want to be cared for, period. You want someone to see that you're in trouble, and be smart, compassionate & quick enough to save you from everything including yourself. You have a desire to end up in the hospital again so that you can be totally taken care of from head to toe, with people fussing over you and making you job#1, the most important thing to deal with.

I think that you don't really want to hurt yourself, you're just crying out for attention & help. You need someone to baby you, care for you, soothe you. And THAT is understandable, and THAT makes sense.

I just hope you don't take the drugs and actually end up in the hospital. There would be a lot of negatives, like you said. First, you could actually die. Second, you could get admittited to psych again. Third, you'd be doing something you really don't want.

Is there another way you could baby yourself, take care of yourself, without doing damage? Is there a person who could give you some attention & loving? How about your parenst -- could you say, "Mom, I really need some TLC. I'm in a bad place. Can I come over and bring you flowers for your wrist, and then just get some hugs, and sleep on your couch while drinking tea and watching bad daytime television?" Maybe just being around fun people would help.

And here's another thought. If you can't go to your Mom's, how about volunteering at a local soup kitchen, shelter, or women's halfway home? Sometimes volunteering brings out strong instincts and feelings of strength and love, and also makes us realize how good we have it after all. That's actually helped me before.

In any case, here's a bit of TLC for you over the web. ((((((deneb)))))

Don't take the drugs!

JenStar


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