Posted by Tabßitha on October 30, 2002, at 22:01:03
In reply to Re: Sex Partners: Who Needs Them? » Tabßitha, posted by Eddie Sylvano on October 30, 2002, at 18:26:21
I'm just tired of looking for the right partner. I'm 39 years old and have almost never enjoyed sex with a partner, but have always enjoyed solo sex. It's time to put my energy where there's some payoff, instead of continuing to hope things will change. I find giving up hope to be liberating.
If it's really all about touching and cuddling, then why bother with sex at all? Lately I've even become non-cuddly. I used to be cuddly, but now it seems like it was just my emotional neediness manifesting itself physically.
As for the pleasure of watching each other, it sounds nice, but I don't really like to watch or be watched. In the past I had lovers who told me they just wanted to please me, but actually I felt like they wanted me to put on a show for them to watch. I swear their expectations were ruined by watching fake porn movies where the womem scream and writhe at the slightest touch. It was just an extra burden to me to have to fake more external response than was really natural, so my lover could feel good about "pleasing me". My real response was never good enough for them.
I think there are plenty of ways to feel sexual without a partner anyway, through reading, fantasy, dressing up, and all kinds of sensual self-care. Besides, I'm not averse to flirting. To me that's the fun part, and I don't mean leading someone on, I just mean the little energy exchanges, eye contact, banter, and so forth.
See? This whole partner notion just doesn't work for me.
poster:Tabßitha
thread:31790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021022/msgs/31838.html