Posted by Simcha on November 28, 2001, at 8:34:07
In reply to Re: your first love -- Warning! Very long post ;-), posted by sar on November 27, 2001, at 23:29:14
Sar,
Yeah, I can relate to not wanting to have sex with an unattractive face after being in a relationship for a good long while. It really sucks and it makes me feel shallow and somehow dirty.
I think that we should let ourselves off the hook for this. I think that it is quite natural to want a good looking mate. I think that is how we are wired. (Survival of the fittest and all that.)
I have learned that sex is not glue. It can help an already intimate relationship. Yet when there is no other intimacy, sex is just sex. It does not a relationship make. I don't care how gorgeous the other sex partner is. I've found that sometimes the more attractive someone is the more shallow they can afford to be. It seems that people who are plain looking must develop other beauty that the good looking ones don't have. In my humble opinion, a shallow good looking man is much less attractive than a plain looking spiritual, creative, intelligent and witty man.
:-)
Simcha> i don't even want to post this, ugh, but i think it's an interesting anonymous conversation: i dumped the love of my life because he was ugly. he treated me like a princess (as no one else has) but after nearly 3 years it didn;t matter because i couldn't bear to have sex with him anymore.
>
> so. what topic does this bring up? what's most important? when your significant other becomes unattractive to you, what happens? i've always thought that sex is romance-glue...and i could no longer have sex with this unnattractive face,
>
> sound shallow? yeah. but it's the brutal truth. i want to be crazy about someone as much as they're crazy about me. it seems really difficult to find that. the wrong people always like the wrong people.
>
> i am putting myself to sleep on the keyboard with the vino and babbling. i hope someone understands this.
poster:Simcha
thread:14272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14468.html