Posted by sar on November 25, 2001, at 0:46:14
has he or she ever escaped your mind?
i broke up with mine more than a year and a half ago (my choice) but his name echoes in my memory and imagination like nothing else...or, i suppose, like magic that could save me if only i went back.
he treated me wonderfully, like a queen, the first true love i'd ever experienced, but i eventually broke up with him because i found him unattractive. when i think of that now, it breaks my heart even more than it did then...if his nose, lips, cheeks had been different, i'd be asleep in his arms right now.
as this new boyfriend zips me around in a little sports car, my ears are perked up for everything that's missing: the poetic compliments, thoughtful metaphors. i know it takes time, and i am young, but i can't get that firts one out of my head, and feel as if i've lost so much over something so superficial. (i did consider this for a long time before we broke up and came to the conclusion that i'd come to resent him if we stayed together, and i was no longer sexually attracted to him.)
so they say girls get more attatched emotionally...i may have broken up with him, but i miss him the most, more than he misses me, i think. i miss the one i miss the most.
i imagine that this is what it is slighlty like what it is to be old. my bones really ache for the olden days.
poster:sar
thread:14272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14272.html