Posted by inimitable on December 11, 2006, at 23:56:06
In reply to Re: Suicide -mad at myself ** big trigger i think*, posted by Honore on December 11, 2006, at 23:27:08
see, actually, after i had told him today about my specific thoughts last night (cause i've told him before, a few weeks ago that i have been thinking about it), i told him how it felt weird, because i would go from thinking about suicide, to regular thoughts like how i shoudl do the dishes...and how that felt weird, to go from thoughts of suicide to regular thoughts, and he said that was good, because i can seperate the bad thoughts, but still go on with life. and i know what he means by that. but then we started talking about the presentation?exam i have to do for tomorrow (which i am not doing anymore and wimping out on), and he was talking to me about a plan of action on getting those things done, and i all of a sudden started crying, thinking in my head that here he is, talking about how i am going to do it, but i just DON'T have the energy to do it, and if i admit this to him, he'll think i'm stupid. i don't have a problem with talking him about things usually, but it's just that lately it's been so weird around him, feeling like i am lying, even though i am not lying, but it feels like i am deeiving him or something.
thank you all so much for responding to my post, it feels good to talk to other people about this.
poster:inimitable
thread:712780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/712814.html