Posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 16:09:31
In reply to Re: I could be so much happier. **trigger** » pinkeye, posted by annierose on May 10, 2005, at 15:38:56
Thanks Annie for your thoughts. I wasn;'t really abused sexually.. That would have been a different story. If I had that, I would have killed my dad.
But I think he thought he was just being very warm and cuddly cuddly and treating me like a doll kind of thing. He is basically a very good man, and I think he was completely confused himself. But I do know he could have known better. he was a doctor for christsake, and I remember very clearly, my grandfather and many others telling my dad many times not to touch a girl child so much.. He used to even hug me in front of everyone, and hold my hands, and kiss me, and make me sit on his lap, even when I was 14 -15, and many people would be there.. I am pretty sure he was just very innocent.And I also would have been ok with it, if it just happened a few times.. But just that it was going on day after day, for years after years, I think that was the problem. And I couldn't refuse it, because I also realized that he was just being very affectionate.. Now I realize it was totally inappropriate way to show an affection. If I had a son, who is past 13 - 14, I wouldn't touch him so much. I wouldn't ask him to sleep hugging me and all that.
It was kind of mild physical abuse, and full blown emotional abuse.
My new T knows it, but my ex T didn't. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Though, I might be able to tell him now, if I had a chance. Kind of tell him everything and if he forgives me, I might be able to forgive myself. I don't know.
My husband is into some religious cult and fanaticism.. But he is becoming more mellow now, and they wouldn't let him use birth controls, because it is agaisnt God or soemthing, so there is some problem. But I am really not all that concerned about it now. I am fine with the way things are.
poster:pinkeye
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496103.html