Posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 14:55:24
In reply to I could be so much happier. » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on May 10, 2005, at 14:49:51
I just realized the answer to it.. except maybe myself.. I like everyone else, other than myself, and I don't have bitterness towards anyone else, other than myself..
I don't hold anyone else responsible, but I hold myself extremely responsible, and I generally don't blame others, but I blame myself all the time.
I have hurt myself way too much more than I have hurt anyone else.. and actually I haven't really hurt anyone that much.
Even when my dad punished me that I needed to die, and asked me to kind of hang myself, I accepted it, and I thought I deserved to die. That day, I really thought I was going to die, and that I deserved it, and I didn't protest. I cried, but went ahead with the motions.. I could have just ran out of the house or something.. I didn't do it. I never protested against my dad. I could have told him I didn't like to hug him all that much, that I wanted to sleep separately. I could have asked him to stop shouting at me. I didn't do it.
> I really don't have any bitterness towards my dad or mom or husband.
> And I don't have any bitterness or anger towards anyone too much.. I have liked almost all the people I have met so far, maybe except a handful.
> I liked my ex T a lot, and I like my current T also.. I don't have any complaints.
>
poster:pinkeye
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496065.html