Posted by annierose on May 9, 2005, at 22:18:14
In reply to Re: Taking a break for couple of days. » Dinah, posted by pinkeye on May 9, 2005, at 22:00:19
Pinkeye -
I know you are sleeping right now, but I just read your conversation with Dinah. I do agree with everything she had to say, and she is so good at communicating.I just wanted to let you know that I feel so badly for all your confusion. Your father did a terrible thing to you. Of course that would confuse you.
I guess what I wish for is for you is to begin making boundaries for yourself. Instead of trying to be a "good wife", try to be true to yourself. Ask yourself, do I want to see movies with my friends? or share a meal in a restaurant, eggs or steak? ... if the answer is "yes", then talk to your husband. You're not a bad wife, but rather, could he be a demanding husband?
All marriages are about compromise. And you don't want to offend your husband, but it sounds like you are bending over backwards for him and losing who you are in the process.I think I understand that you grew up in India, but are now living in the United States? But your husband wants you to go back to some other country and live with his parents? That would be extremely difficult for ANYBODY!! Don't let him make you feel like you are not being a "good daughter-in-law". That is tough!! I don't mean to make judgements, because I don't know you or him personally, but he sounds controlling. That says way more about him, than you. And all these issues with personal boundaries, goes back to your father.
I am glad you are working with another T. I know you miss your T from India, and that is understandable. I hope you have time to develop a new relationship with this one. Good Luck Pinkeye, my heart goes out to you.
poster:annierose
thread:495224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/495819.html