Posted by JenStar on May 4, 2005, at 18:14:59
In reply to Termination Pain Not Easing, posted by Susan47 on May 4, 2005, at 14:33:20
hi Susan,
I'm so sorry you're in such pain!
You should never have to "kill off" parts of yourself. That sounds so harsh and unkind to yourself. Can you think of it differently, more gently? Something like: "graduate" the parts of yourself to a new emotion? or "emerge" from your pain a transformed person?The parts of you that feel the pain of unrequited love and loneliness are not BAD parts at all. They just need fulfillment somehow.
What steps have you taken to find a mate? Have you tried dating agencies? Asking friends for blind dates? Starting a new hobby or class at a community center/college? Dance classes (salsa, ballroom) are really great places to meet other singles. If you like opera/theatre, they sometimes have "singles clubs" where all the single people buy tickets and sit in the same section & meet at intermission to mingle.
I hope you're giving yourself the chance to meet someone new. Obsessing over someone we can't have isn't ever going to make him ours...it just makes us sadder & more bitter (in my opinion, anyway!). Can you ever forget him? I hope you can!
Anyway, I'm feeling lots of sympathy for you. I hope you're able to get past the pain. I hope you find a great guy who treats you well & makes you smile. I hope you're at least able to start looking - that would be a great first step!
take care!
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:493680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/493814.html