Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2004, at 12:59:39
In reply to Re: Ummm uh oh? » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on January 15, 2004, at 12:34:33
I don't get bent out of joint about those little day to day disclosures, especially if they have relevance to what you're discussing.
Sometimes, before a holiday when I don't want to get upset, I might tell him childhood stories from Christmas and then he might reciprocate. He certainly doesn't do the blank slate thing. There was a period when he was just trying to do too many things and it had a negative impact on his therapeutic effectiveness. When I (naturally) assumed that it was my fault, he explained. And now that I know, he'll refer to it occasionally.
I think he was probably nervous about telling me he was getting married (I prefer not to think of him as being a man) and if they ever have a baby I think he'd be terrified to tell me. Just because I'm likely to have all sorts of abandonment issues crop up and cause him trouble. But those sort of things really can't effectively be kept secret.
I think the question to self disclosure is this. Is it in the best interests of the therapist or the client? If it's done to make the therapist feel better, it's bad. If it's done to further the therapeutic aims of the client, or to strenghten the therapeutic bond, then it's probably good. If it is just to explain the unavoidably detected, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad, it probably should be done.
There have probably been occasions where my therapist missed the mark a bit. But no one's perfect.
poster:Dinah
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/301214.html