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Re: Not over first block yet *trigger* » Deneb

Posted by llrrrpp on July 2, 2006, at 22:01:14

In reply to Re: Not over first block yet *trigger*, posted by Deneb on July 2, 2006, at 21:21:11

> I don't know how to get over this. :-(

> When I was little and upset and my Mom didn't do anything to soothe me, I would want to hurt myself. I used to think my Mom didn't care if I got hurt, so I would get angry and hurt myself. I'm screwed up. I've got personality problems.
>
> Deneb*

Wow Deneb*,
That sounds really hard. My parents were kind of like that too. The only way I got tucked in and nurtured was to be sick. I devised elaborate ways of faking sore throats and fevers. Now I'm in the body of an adult, and I expect my husband to respond to me when I'm moaning in bed by saying "poor llrrrpp, poor thing"... tucking me in, bringing me hot tea...mothering me. But that's not his role! He doesn't know why I want, and I end up feeling dissatisfied and unloved.

It sounds like you learned one way to get the attention that children need from their parents. It's not the only way though.

I think you are learning so many things about yourself right now. It's exciting and probably scary too. I bet you and a sensitive T could figure out healthy ways to express these feelings. I don't want to seem pushy, but I just think you sound like you're really ready for the next step in figuring yourself out, and how you fit into your family and your world.

your friend,
-ll


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