Posted by Deneb on June 30, 2006, at 23:50:04
Dr. Bob, sometimes I'm over the trauma of the first block, but sometimes I'm not. Dr. Bob, the first block was the absolute worst. The other blocks were almost unbearable at times, but the first was even worse than unbearable. I know you probably didn't mean to hurt me so badly, but you did. :-(
Dr. Bob, I cried and cried when I was blocked the first time. I cried the other times too, but not as much as the first time. It was really really horrible. I couldn't control myself. I was bawling in *public*. I couldn't bear it. Later even when my block was over, I was still devastated, leading to my buying a rope to hang myself. I'm not kidding.
The thing that upset me the most was the fact that you didn't reply to my e-mail asking you to write, "It's ok, :-)". Remember? No, you probably don't remember. You replied, but it was only to warn me that I couldn't switch names. Dr. Bob, I'm going to confess something to you. When I was blocked the first time, I switched names to Sandy_Star and posted I think 2 posts on the Newbie board because I was so desperate and devastated that I couldn't help myself. I don't know if you'd caught that and just warned me instead of punishing me more. I'm really sorry I deceived people into thinking I was new. I just *needed* Babble interaction. I couldn't stand being blocked.
Dr. Bob I just felt sooooo bad. I felt so bad I thought I was going to die. It was horrible. You can't imagine how horrible it was. I know it seems like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not.
I don't know why I reacted so strongly, I think maybe I felt rejected.
I know I'm whining right now, and I've already told you this, but I just needed to write it again. I know it seems really dramatic. I can't help myself. I'm dramatic sometimes, but it's all real. I swear I would tell the same story to you in person. This stuff happened in real life.
Dr. Bob, I don't know if there is a way to prevent what happened to me from happening to other people. I wish there were.
I don't think you wanted to hurt anyone like you did me. It was a horrible adverse event. I'm still not completely over it. I still have memories of that time.
I wish you could say, "There, there, sorry that happened to you", but I know you won't. :-(
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:663157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/663157.html