Posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2015, at 18:08:18
In reply to Re: perks, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2015, at 5:16:30
couple weeks till break and feeling kinda burned out.
I'm so sick of first year. I'm so sick of first years. Even the mature students amongst them... Since they aren't graduate students...
I'm sick of the dull-witted uncaring attitude. I'm sick of people delighting in their stupidity and ignorance. I'm sick of people being all, like 'omg this person was, like, so excited about that lecture, and I was, like, but omg it is so boring really, and then I set about to make them just as dumb and uninspired as me, because clearly being like me is the very best thing of all, dull and ininspired that I am'. I'm sick of the people who have internalised the 'fake it till you make it' idea so they somehow think that they belong... I'm sick of it... I'm sick of all of it...
I'm sick of activity books that are supposed to 'encourage us to think'. Because somehow filling in the blanks or coloring in is 'thinking' over in science. I'm sick of having to spend so much time doing 'busy-work' of finding bits of information from here there and everywhere and copying it down into someplace else in order to collate a comprehensive full set of notes... Which is all a precondition on my actually getting to lean it / to think about it. I'm sick of them thinking they know best how I learn that they fill up all my time doing stupid copy paste or fill in the blank exercises instead of giving me the f*ck*ng information they want me to learn and letting be f*ck*ng get on with it already.
I'm tired of being treated like a child. I suppose that is it, really.
We have a first year moot... For the first time. And so I got assigned a partner. She is really unbelievably dumb. I mean... Really, unbelievably dumb. I basically need to do the written submission myself since she doesn't get what to do. I suppose it is possible that she is playing dumb. I don't suppose there is much difference for a bunch of people out there... But it is f*ck*ng insufferably from my pov. We advance (or not) as a team. Oh joy.
I'm sick of it, already.
I spoke to the surgeon. It was hard to get a straight answer out of him... He decided that it was a 'fools errand' to get the rest of the screw out. He had the extraction equipment to do it. He had the time to do it. But he made the executive f*ck*ng decision that it was a fools errand to do that and so he didn't do it. I asked him whether he thought it was likely that it would break BEFORE the operation and he said something about how there may have been a crack in it visible on the x-ray (but that might have been his way of attempting to cover his *ss about his being a bit of an idiot in not figuring it likely would break there before the operation). He wasn't consistent with me about whether he thought it likely would break before-hand or not. But he certainly never mentioned to me beforehand about that. He never told me before-hand that he planned on stopping if it broke. Afterwards... He just thought that I wouldn't know any better. I suppose that's how he makes a living. Doing 'easy' operations. Lots of them. Unnecessary ones (since I'll need to find someone else now, to get the f*ck*ng rest of it).
I told him it wasn't his decision. That that's not what 'informed consent' means. He decided it wasn't worth it to... To whom, exactly? I made it f*ck*ng clear I wanted him to get it out. He should have told me he was only planning on doing a half *ss*d job and I wouldn't have let him anywhere near me.
F*ck*ng idiots. I'm so very tired of them.
There are people about... Only they get swamped by all the desparately needy people who won't leave them alone... The ones who are so needy they end up leaving or whatever anyway since they are so ill suited... But sure, drag down a few others with you on your way out...
I'm sick of the tragedy of commons situation that we have here. I'm sick of Maaori this and Maaori that wah wah wah we got f*ck*d over help us help us help us help us we won't help ourselves but help us help us help us. Or even don't even help us just whisper sweet sweet placebo to us to help us feel better that's what we need...
Maybe get a f*ck*ng dog.
I don't know what to say.
I feel pretty f*ck*ng grumpy with the world. Isolated. Everyone says this year really sucks because there are... Too f*ck*ng many people. Most of whom shouldn't f*ck*ng well be here. They think no harm or whatever to let them in... And of course it is people like me who get f*ck*d over because of that.
I am feeling burned out. Yeah. I guess I'm going to go to the gym. Then come back and do the rest of the f*ck*ng work on this moot so I don't make too much of an *ss of myself tomorrow...
Only 8 more weeks of first years. Whatever happens next.
(Med is actually slightly ambiguous since the situation is basically that they never envisaged that there could be a PhD student who decided not to - like me - which would mean they completed their degree more than 5 years ago - but weren't out of the habit of university study. In other words, they could consider this to be a full time year for me... Or not... I bet they will say I needed just one more paper this semester for that to happen...I'm sick of being f*ck*d over by people who don't f*ck*ng know the first thing about me. Who assume I speak sh*t because that's what most people do. Speak sh*t. Talk nonsense. Don't even f*ck*ng know themselves at all. I can't possibly be listened to about what is good for me...)
I'm going to the gym.
Not the university gym since it has been raining piss for a couple years now and nobody seems to think there is anything wrong with it. I'm sick of this toilet of a country.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1076978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150604/msgs/1081427.html