Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 20:00:38
In reply to Re: BTW, I am in crisis, posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 19:32:53
Hmm...
Don't get me wrong, I don't think I could even live with another human being. I know a few couples where one works and lives in the northern hemisphere and the other works and lives in the southern hemisphere...
Then with teaching breaks for the different hemispheres etc etc they can spend up to 6 months of the year together... Or perhaps 3 months of the year co-located for conferences etc etc at different destinations around the world... Er... I always thought that that kind of set-up seemed ideal, actually. Gives you the opportunity to miss each other... And not get too worn out by the other persons disgustingness (everyone is a slob at heart, I think).
So...
So he does think that things were better... But he thinks things were better because of changes to you, rather than him. Whatever... Maybe that is the hook to get him to try again? He might feel like he has been burned a bit by past t...
He was dealing with a death then his T got really sick... Ouch.
> And all that had been learned and absorbed in couples treatment slowly fell away. I'm at the point where my T is recommending I spend extended time away from him. See a lawyer. Get my business in order. And leave.
Hmm. Well... That is directive...
Maybe it is time for the 'either we try this or I leave for a bit because something has got to change' speel.
You wanted him to walk beside you on your trip... I keep thinking of that... You do want him to be closer... I wonder if he FEELS that? If there is a way he can be... Is there anything you like to DO together. As in... Not talking, just some activity that you like to do. Guys tend to bond like that, I think... Or the renovations... Fixing up the house... Guys sometimes do stuff like that in an attempt to show they care...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1052531
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130914/msgs/1052590.html