Posted by alexandra_k on October 19, 2013, at 18:44:29
In reply to Re: BTW, I am in crisis, posted by Partlycloudy on October 19, 2013, at 18:33:24
> He says that I am the problem. That my depression and my therapist, even, are against him.
Well, that doesn't sound civil :-(
I guess he feels like people are against him. I wonder what sort of thing he might experience as being for him. I wonder why he is reluctant to see a therapist again... Maybe his last therapist wasn't validating enough? I... Would be freaked about my t getting sick like that, I have to say. I'm not entirely sure I would return after something like that. It can be really hard to find a therapist who helps one feel heard... I don't know.
I'm not trying to take sides here. I'm thinking about how you guys can be led to work TOGETHER to improve things for the both of you. Because it sounds like you both are unhappy. But you both value the relationship (or one or the other or both of you would have bailed). So...
> I am depressed just trying to explain what one of his adult children told me once. That he will never, ever, take emotional responsibility for how his actions or in actions affect those closest to him.
I... Don't think I could handle a 'confrontation' like that, either. I'm not sure that there is many people in the world who could...
Tell me to leave it be if you like... I'm not trying to take sides or anything... Just to try and help you see that you will have to give him some kind of a compromise or something... People need that... Ego... I'm sure he doesn't conceive of himself the way you conceive of him (at least sometimes). I mean... How could one live with oneself if that was the truth of it? What is he supposed to do? Pull himself up by his bootstraps? Take a verbal beating of why he's useless?
He sounds... Closed off...
I... I'm probably reading my own issues...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1052531
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130914/msgs/1052581.html