Posted by Dinah on October 18, 2009, at 11:12:28
In reply to When life gets hard, I just feel like giving up, posted by Deneb on October 17, 2009, at 19:05:12
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/921310.html
I believe you in each of these posts. And I hope someday you'll be able to integrate your views of yourself into one whole. Maybe that would be something to work on in therapy?
You talked about dropping one of your classes. If you do that, would you be able to concentrate better on the others? Is a tutor a possibility this year?
Is this what you really want to do with your life, or are you doing what your mother wants you to do? Do you want the life your mother wants for you?
The thing about the past is that it's the past. If you can mitigate the effects of your decision to skip the midterm, by all means do so. But maybe you can also learn from this, so that this situation doesn't come up in the future? Did you maybe take more classes this year than you can handle? Are you feeling angry with your mother or pdoc, both of whom want you to do well in school?
Beating yourself up over this decision isn't all that productive, and in some ways it's a diversion from finding solutions to the bigger issues in your life, don't you think? You can spend time being sucked into an all too powerful whirlpool of shame over what happened, but that takes away energy you could use more productively elsewhere perhaps?
You have a plan. You've asked the professor, you will ask your pdoc, and you have a plan as to what to do if either or both refuse. So... what can you do to make the rest of this semester manageable.
You are capable of working very hard, Deneb. You did very well at your job. You are smart. I've talked to you often enough to know that.
So you can do well, and you will do well. Perhaps in the way your mom wants, and perhaps not. But you have a good understanding of what does and doesn't work well for you. Maybe you can use that to plan out the rest of this semester, and make what changes you need to make?
poster:Dinah
thread:921292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090930/msgs/921380.html