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Re: Miserable » yellowbird01

Posted by Gabbette on February 10, 2009, at 23:13:30

In reply to Miserable, posted by yellowbird01 on February 9, 2009, at 19:26:15

Wow I'm amazed you managed to get up to go to work.
Breakups like that are ghoulishly painful.

To quote Andrew Solomon

"It's like vomiting pain without a mouth"

I think just knowing that it's going to be awful for a little while and there will be moments that you think you can't stand it any longer somehow helps. It's actually "normal"
It's amazing how you can adjust and even get better though.

You might be thinking that applies to everyone but you but that's normal too.
It does somehow with a few setbacks .. get easier and
you find new things, new parts of yourself that don't replace him, but make life worth living again.
I was in hell after my last breakup, it felt like I was burning alive,

I went to the hospital because the anguish was
just .. unbearable, and the mental health nurse told me, in a sisterly reassuring way.

"what you're going through is just what you have to go through. You can cry your eyes out here, or go home and do it, but it's going to happen, losing someone you love is the hardest thing in the world"


I couldn't fathom, couldn't stand the thought of life without him, and that was after almost a year. I knew how pathetic it sounded but I just didn't think I could.
We made the "mistake" of staying friends, which I thought made it easier, in fact I didn't get over him completely until we stopped contact..
He was my best friend too.


Another thing I told myself, morbid as it may sound is, you'd have to survive and thrive
if you lost him in a car accident, you have to
know that you can have a satisfying if not "ideal" life without him.

I feel for you, but it will get better.

 

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