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Re: It's getting worse... » DannaB

Posted by philyra on February 10, 2007, at 9:17:33

In reply to It's getting worse..., posted by DannaB on February 9, 2007, at 22:59:12

Hi Danna,

I have a hard time making friends, too. I even get really shy and anxious around the friends I do have - even long-term friends. I'm starting to learn more about my social anxiety that way.

I have to really push myself to spend time with people, and one way I like is to "work" with people. I ask someone if they want to study in a coffee shop with me - this is a big one. You dont' have to talk a lot, but just having some companionship is nice. And when you do talk, it can be lovely!

Do you like to cook? I find that asking people over for dinner is an easy way to be around people without talking much :). I get so busy with the cooking and cleaning up that they just talk amongst themselves and I get to jump in once in a while, or stay at the table if I'm feeling comfortable.

I'm always more comfortable at a party if I'm doing something - helping fix food, clean dishes, etc. I can't stand making small talk but I like being around people, so...I've figured out some good tricks.

I hope this helps. It will get better. Also - is there a group at school you can join? At my school we have lots of reading groups that meet over lunch or drinks, we have a unionization group, a graduate school center where I've chatted with people...being in school is one of the best ways to deal with social anxiety, I think.

take care,
philyra


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