Posted by Deneb on January 21, 2007, at 19:59:58
In reply to Re: helping *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 21, 2007, at 19:07:38
> Deneb,
> Did you harm yourself? How can any of us (even you, even your pdoc) ever know for sure? I don't even want you to come *close* to harming yourself.I'm sorry ((((((((((LlurpsieNoodle)))))))))))))
You care so much. I love you. If I hurt you by hurting myself I won't ever hurt myself again.
> I think you might want to consider different ways of understanding what self-harm is. Didn't you have a nosebleed? Don't you think that is unusual? Didn't you relate your "mini OD" to your nosebleed and say that the OD caused the nosebleed?
I don't know if the ASA caused the nosebleed. I do know ASA prevents clotting of the blood. I did a quick Google on it and nosebleeds came up.
> I'm really working hard on this myself, Deneb, so please try to understand that I'm not being judgemental of you. I justify my own self-injury over and over again. I wish I could get OUT of my own cycle, but it requires constant vigilance. Just when I think everything is under control, I do something that I will later be ashamed of and regret.
I know Llurpsie. Self harm is not OK. I wish you didn't self harm.
>
> In your posts on this matter, I hear a mixture of regret (taken to extremes = I will never OD again) and also self-defense (I didn't take enough to hurt myself; my pdoc doesn't seem concerned, etc.)
>
> Maybe I can add a new thing to think about. Think about important people in your life. Your Mom, Your Sister, and I'm going to invoke your warm feelings toward Dr. Bob too.
>
> When you feel desperate, imagine that you are trying too coach your sister, or Dr. Bob from performing this behavior.
>
> "Dear Dr. Bob, please don't take those pills. That's too much. I don't care if a pdoc says it's not dangerous, it's just too much. Dr. Bob, I don't want you to have a nosebleed because you took too much. Even if you seem fine and healthy otherwise, I wish you had expressed your pain using words rather than by punishing yourself and trying to ease your suffering by hurting your body"If I imagined it were you or Dr. Bob, or my sister taking an OD, I would try everything I could to stop it too. ((((((((((LlurpsieNoodle)))))))))))) You care soooo much. I don't want to hurt you. I promise I'll think of you whenever I want to OD.
(((((((((LlurpsieNoodle)))))))))) I love you. I don't want to see you hurt. I won't hurt myself again.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:723690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070112/msgs/724965.html