Posted by Deneb on April 5, 2006, at 20:32:59
In reply to careful deneb..., posted by special_k on April 5, 2006, at 19:33:20
> if you poke hard enough
> you might see him shake
> and then what?
> you will feel hurt, disappointed, let down, and full of rage.You mean I could make Bob angry? I think I would be upset if Bob got angry at me.
> to remember that he is just a human being
> more stable / contained than most
> but not perfect
> not a perfect rock
> rocks don't bleed
> i think dr bob can bleedI know, but I'm not sure that I really *know* it, if you know what I mean.
> so IMO appreciate what he has done
> and show the appreciation by being respectfulI don't think it's disrespectful to *ask* to hug. I would think it disrespectful to not ask.
> i know you are just playing...
> messing around...
> and probly i'm overreacting...
> and there isn't any harm.I don't think there will be any harm in asking... I'll even add in about how I understand if he doesn't want to hug.
> but you will have noticed it is a triggering subject for some...
Yeah, I don't really understand it.
> and i guess it is about how when you got hammie you said you used to poke at him and try and make him do things...
Wow, I can't believe you actually remembered that.
> then you got attached to him and didn't do that to him anymore 'cause you didn't want to hurt him.
I learned I shouldn't and can't force him to do things.
> and sometimes i wonder if you try and poke at bob and make him do things...
I can try, but I'm not sure I can make him do things.
> and i guess part of an appropriate way of showing someone that you care about them and appreciate them is to...
>
> respect their boundaries.I guess what you're saying is that if I really do love Dr. Bob, I would respect that he doesn't want a gift or maybe a hug.
Deneb
poster:Deneb
thread:626334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/629437.html