Posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 0:34:54
In reply to Re: Birthday blues » gardenergirl, posted by AdaGrace on June 10, 2005, at 10:03:28
Adagrace,
Thanks for making me giggle. It was a bit of a foreign sound, as it's been a few days. And of course I know you were kidding with these.> Suggestions for GG to gain her status back on the Birthday Queen pedestal:
> (Note: These should probably be done in private and not told to the recipient)
>
> 1. Drop his steak on the floor and put it back on his plate. (Now if this were at my house, that would have to be a chicken leg. Poor people have poor ways.)Five second rule???
>
> 2. Use his toothbrush to clean the gunk out of your jewelry. (Or the toilet if you dare!)OMG, I used to do something similar with my brother's toothbrush when I was a snarky teenager! (she admits with only a twinge of shame and a bit of an ewwww)
>
> 3. Hide the remote and say the kids/pet (insert appropriate scapegoat) must have lost it.Now this will be hard. We have too darned many remotes. I could take all the batteries out. ;)
>
> 4. Add rubbing alcohol to his after shave lotion. Don't be shy, that old addage that a "little dab'll do ya" just doesn't apply here.Oh my! This and the next one...devious. Too bad he doesn't use after shave. But I could start using his razor on my legs.
>
> 5. As a matter of fact, use his razor to clean the fuzz balls off your sweater. Be sure to get all that fuzz out from between the blades, you don't want any tell tale signs of anything being amiss. By the way, this one should probably be done before #4 for the most effective results.
>
> 6. Wait until he is taking a shower, and decide that the whites need to be laundered......in VERY hot water. "Oops, your didn't realize he was in there"LOL!!!!
>
> 7. Sprinkle lots of talcom powder on fresh new sheets, don't rub it in. Men hate pungent smells, he might have to go to the couch for the night.Won't work. He has almost no sense of smell.
>
> 8. Decide that everyone in the house must go on a diet, remove all sweets and fattening things from the house...or better yet, just hide that stuff in your closet so you know where it is when you need it......replace with not fat cheese, milk, you name it....."make it so".Again, not devious but would be helpful. He's diabetic.
>
> 9. Start a new tradition of "YOUR" house being the place for your friends to gather and have a weekly facial/nail/hair "Girl's Night In" party that lasts for several hours. This should probably be done on an occassion when you know he will be home, and preferrably in his way. Like say, the living room. You should probably let the air out of his tires so he can't escape. (Babblemail me for foolproof and non tracing instructions)I love this idea of having a gaggle of girlfriends come over. Hmmm, party at GG's?
>
> And last but certainly not least,
>
> 10. Have a perpetual headache. Now do I need to eeesplain dat to ju Lucy? Lets face it honey, sometimes the only way to get back at a man is to do it without them knowing it, but having the satifation that it was done. I find witholding sex tends to work more often than not.I won't go into why this would not have any effect in this case. Unless.....I could start demanding sex!! Oy.
>
>
> Now, GG, go out, get a pedicure, buy a new summer purse &/or shoes and a bottle if wine. Go home and prop your feet up, admire your new toe do, and plot your next move.......
>
> "Zippity do da, zippity ay, my oh my what a wonderful day........"
>
> Signed Me,
> The Deviant One.....(used to be full of Grace)
LOL, thanks again. Very good advice. ;-)gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:510246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050610/msgs/510881.html