Posted by Shy_Girl on May 13, 2005, at 22:29:22
In reply to Re: No hope for me » Shy_Girl, posted by alesta on May 13, 2005, at 21:52:03
> hi jenny,
>
> for the first time in my entire time posting on this site i wonder if i jumped the gun giving advice.It's ok, I didn't think you jumped the gun :)
> so lemme ask you....are you not able to feel any pleasure outside of people?
I can feel pleasure outside of people...I think, I'm not 100% sure of what you mean. I'm alone most of the time and I actually prefer to be alone. Right now, I would be too afraid to be around actual people. I don't know why, but I sometimes feel intense surges of joy...like I'm on top of the world, can do absolutly anything I want. I remember even thinking that everything in the world was for my enjoyment...almost like I was god-like in a way. I felt this without influence from people.
Then I also recall the really bad times...I would cry and cry, lying on the floor, writhing, repeating doomsday phases over and over again and maybe cutting...again, all by myself.
I was always careful to appear as normal as possible around others. My parents don't notice anything...or if they do, they don't know any better. My parents don't know anything about mental problems.
i'm referring to your quotes below..
>
> > Arrrgh...I feel like I need something, anything...give me a freaking placebo for goodness sake!Heh...I've read that placebos are effective in 30% of people. If my problems are mostly psychological, I think a placebo might be able to calm me down. The problem is that it is considered unethical for doctors to give out placebos...thus they are not able to give out placebos unless I ask for them...which negates the placebo effect!
> perhaps it would be best to 'soothe yourself' first before you attempt to find your identity. when you said "soothe yourself", my first thought was that your dopamine levels might be really low...i know when i was taking an SSRI, the lowered dopamine levels had me just crawling the walls..i wanted to soothe myself so bad..it was horrible.
I'm not sure what if anything is wrong with my brain. I really don't know much in terms of drugs and their many effects etc. My pdoc never discussed meds with me...in fact, she wasn't even the person who decided to give me the Zoloft or the Celexa. She's a talker. I'm sure she must know the basics of psychopharmacology, since she is a pdoc, but I have a feeling that is definately not her specialty...which might be some form of cognitive therapy.
The thing is, my moods and thoughts are all over the place and I can barely remember things that happened yesterday. I don't know how the Celexa is affecting me.
>have you tried an MAOI, e.g. parnate or nardil?
Nope, I've only tried Zoloft and currently Celexa. Oh, and I was given 5 doses of propranolol for my anxiety symptoms. I'm not sure if I can handle the dietary restrictions of an MAOI, my diet is all over the place, my mom uses a lot of soy sauce etc. Plus, I highly doubt anyone is going to give me an MAOI...the doctors here don't even want to give me more than one drug at once. Thus, I believe I will continue with the Celexa whether or not it really works...maybe they are counting on the placebo effect.
> anyway, have a great night. i hope you find some peace.
thanks Amy,
I need to find peace,
anyway that I can
poster:Shy_Girl
thread:497413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050513/msgs/497554.html