Posted by Shy_Girl on May 13, 2005, at 20:57:29
In reply to No hope for me, posted by Shy_Girl on May 13, 2005, at 15:53:25
Thanks everyone
I feel better now, had a little fun playing trivia :o)I think I need to learn to soothe myself more than anything. I'm anxious from thinking about not being able to control or tolerate my emotions. Maybe I can tolerate them, I don't know. My pdoc seemed to think I was going to be all right.
...I'm supposed to go see my family doctor, but she's on vacation! I'm just going to have to trust that I'm going to make it. There really isn't anything big in terms of triggers for me IRL...my life is boring and sad and I'm pretty used to it. I guess the only major triggers are from participating on this site. I don't know why, but reading posts can send me flying high or into a deep despair or rage. I can't seem to take criticism or punishment...hence my dysphoria from being blocked. That's really what worries me...being blocked, I'm worried I might get so upset that I'll kill myself...it is a very silly and immature thing to do, I know, but I cannot control my emotions. Plus, being blocked means that my mind is allowed to continue it's irrational thinking, which may be stopped if people are able to reason with me. Argh...I like conversing here, but I don't know if it is worth the risk. Either way, I don't think I want to stop participating. It really sucks to not have anyone IRL to talk to.
If I feel out of control, I'm going to try taking some propranolol...maybe it will help? I only have 3 and 1/2 doses though...argh.
Arrrgh...I feel like I need something, anything...give me a freaking placebo for goodness sake!
poster:Shy_Girl
thread:497413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050513/msgs/497525.html