Posted by finelinebob on May 12, 2004, at 16:13:47
In reply to Re: Advice would be appreciated!, posted by Will_Hung on May 12, 2004, at 15:52:23
Sounds like she already sees more of your friends than you do.
In a sense, there are two issues here: your relationship with her and your relationship with your other friends. If she has to be around for you to have a relationship with your other friends, then maybe you really have a relationship with her friends, one that she controls. If she's going to shut you out of outings with those mutual friends, then you aren't taking ownership of your own friendships.
I know this can be hard to do, but you need to start setting up activities between you and your friends without her being included. Not all of them at once ... call one or two to go to a movie, hit some restaurant for dinner, head out to a park to catch some sun -- whatever you'd want to do with them. I know it's hard from personal experience. I'd always figure they didn't want to do anything with me by myself, and my friends would always inform me how wrong I was by saying yes, being happy about it and enjoying it as much as me.
If you are worried about being isolated, it sounds like she has the power to isloate you when she wishes already. Living in the same place as her isn't going to change that. As hard as it is, you need to take control of your own friendships.
you CAN do it
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:345996
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346215.html