Posted by Larry Hoover on December 11, 2003, at 11:37:55
In reply to Re: anger redux - the toolkit!, posted by kara lynne on December 11, 2003, at 0:34:15
> - take her to therapy-
>
> I'm afraid it's way past that point. She is the most therapy resistant human being on the planet. I just have to get a life so I have something in the plus section when things get so negative.
>
> It's so hard to come to terms with the idea that she's never chosen to support me. I don't get it. I know men are more intrinsically valuable on her planet, but I thought it was kind of an innate, mammalian reflex for a mother to want to bond with a daughter. Mine was just always making sure I never got anything she might have wanted.If I may be so bold, as to offer up an opinion.....
I believe your mother wants you to suffer just as she did.....perhaps even excessively so....more than she ever did.
And, you want to get something from her that you know, in your heart, you never will get.
Been there.....I am sad to say.
Emotional detachment is the solution, IMHO, but achieving it is the hard part, of course. My solution has been to move towards feeling sorry for my mom....she's in so much pain, but I'm not hungry for her pain. She has no urge to change, no real urge, so I stopped trying to fix the unfixable.
Hugs, kara.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:288612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/288759.html