Posted by Larry Hoover on November 23, 2003, at 8:02:46
In reply to what can I say?, posted by Jai on November 22, 2003, at 17:51:57
> > > You definitely had much too much on your plate.
> >
> > Do you think?
>
> Well yes I do.You couldn't see the twinkle in my eye, from over there, eh?
> Sometimes these life experiences precipitate a breakdown sometimes they accompany a breakdown that was coming anyway.
> >
> > I think the distinction is moot.
>
> I think the end result is the same but the getting there is different.What I meant was, something was already triggering a breakdown that was coming anyway. It is more a definitional distinction to discriminate the way you had chosen to do than a procedural one. Breakdowns are triggered, but an observer may have seen each trigger over time, or only the latter ones.
Or, did I misunderstand, and you were discriminating between precipitating events and sequelae?
> > >
> > I have 100% incidence in my male bloodline, both mood disorder and substance abuse.
> At what age is the onset? Or did it appear all your life?My mood thing was always there. My brother's too. I don't know about the others. Substance abuse began with availability. Even my dad acknowledged that much.
> >
> There is one exception. There are those who say they will speak with brutal honesty, but they get off on the brutality, not the honesty.
> >
> That sounds like abuse, not honesty.I just wanted to make a point that honesty should also include honest feelings, e.g. respect and empathy.
> It seems like that is a way of shoving people away and not letting them in close.
I consider it to be emotional sadism.
> > I think it's a primal fear. That it can strike anyone.
>
> Well my family is in mortal fear of Bipolar striking after 30 years old.Late onset....wow. Most often occurs by in puberty/early adulthood, I think.
> Sometimes I wished I had become a doctor....
> > It's never too late.
>
> what a sweet sentiment.Truly, I do believe it. It's never too late.
> My mind is too old to go through the rigors of med school.
That is, of course, a reasonable consideration. If it weren't for the abuse endured in residency, I'd be there.
> > > My mother was not kind or considerate within her life & illnesses.
> My mom, the same. Birds of a feather?
> >
> Your mom was mentally abusive?Emotionally. My dominant memories are of terror. Moreover, I have no recollection, ever, of being so much as hugged. It may have happened, but I don't recall it....it certainly and absolutely did not happen enough.
> Was she mentally ill?
Oh, probably.
> How did you move through this?
12-stepping, at least in part. Addiction does have its blessings.
> > It feels like my breakdown was literally that. Something seems permanently altered. I am a different man than I was before. I simply do not have the capacity or endurance that I once had. Nothing at all like it, in fact.
> > Current diagnoses include: treatment-resistant major depression, dysthymia (so-called double depression), chronic fatigue syndrome, acute PTSD, chronic PTSD,
> Did you try EMDR?
Yes. It worked wonders on the acute form, but I ran out of treatments before trying to address the other.
> chronic insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome. I don't quite meet the criteria for fibromyalgia, but my doctor calls it that anyway. Others, too.
> >
> Have you tried the following for your intestines:
> 1. Garden of life Primal Defense?No.
> 2. Renew Life Oil Smart?
I use a lot of essential oils...is that what's in there?
> >
> What happens to you with Valerian?
> stimulated?How the heck did you know that?
> > I have stabilized my mood, without medication, via nutritional supplements.
> >
> what works? What do you take per day?That would be a separate post, and I'm not "there" mentally at the minute.
> I manage the others with conceptualizations
> such as a daily assessment of my energy budget, and similar. I'm doing much better than I was, but I am not yet well. The trend is upwards, but it is two steps forward, one step back.
> >
> Your communications have a lot of energy behind them. Kindness takes energy.Aren't you a dear person.
What you say is true, but....I get energy back from what I do, too.
> I hope to hear from you.
> JaiAnd you.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:282544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031113/msgs/282771.html