Posted by Susan J on September 26, 2003, at 15:34:09
In reply to Re: Very Common! » Susan J, posted by HannahW on September 26, 2003, at 15:15:01
> I agree that it's harder as an adult (I'm 34), and that people don't put much effort into making new friendships. I think that once people have their "friendship quota" they are not particularly receptive to making new friends.
<<That's part of my pet peeve! I have a group of friends at work (this is the first place I've ever worked where people were my age) and we go out at least 2x a month. But we invite "fringe" people all time. I was a fringe person at one point. :-) I'm only close to one woman in the group, but it's a nice social outlet. Before that, I only hung out with my boyfriend's friends. They were great, but I wanted friends of my own. Good thing, too, now that boyfriend is gone. :-)
>but I've always wanted to join a book club. Maybe I should check for postings at the library.
<<My mother joined a book club at her library, and folks ranged from 22 up to 70.>>I know I'm a great person with terrific qualities. Why can't other people see that? I think my shyness/insecurity makes me seem standoffish, which doesn't help at all.
<<It doesn't help being shy. So am I. But if you can get yourself into some of those groups of people, you'll become more comfortable and it will be a lot easier than meeting a bunch of new people each week. I think book groups are a great idea. I also thought about volunteering at the local library.But I totally understand about not having much energy to do anything! I think that's why a book club thing would appeal to me. You sit. You talk. You go home.
Do you have any brother or sisters? Can you hang out with them?
> Damn! My first individual social invitation in forever, and I live on the other side of the country! :)
<<Hahah! Around here, the City Paper runs ads, most of them are personals for dating, but they have a friends column, too. You might place an ad in that to see if anyone's out there that like to do similar stuff. Like, I *love* movies. Maybe you could find a cinephile buddy if that's something you like to do. Just do a matinee and get some coffee or something afterward.Or is there a park or something around you? I advertised for a walking partner around a lake where I live, where everyone exercises. That worked out pretty well, although the woman was married with small kids so we had nothing in common and she had no other time to hang out.
Take care,
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:263517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/263554.html