Posted by Greg A. on April 14, 2003, at 17:06:31
In reply to Lonely, posted by Miller on April 13, 2003, at 1:47:00
To the depressed women who feel they are driving their husbands away:
I am male, married for almost 25 years, depressed and have been off and on (mostly on) for a long time. My wife is sensitive and caring. She would like to be supportive of me and help in any way she can. She often does not know what to do to help and often there is nothing she can do except allow me to be sick. In return I am very often cold and uncommunicative. I do not share how I am feeling with her. I don’t tell her my fears or that I am suicidal or that I am barely functioning at work. And yet I sort of expect her to know these things and when she doesn’t I resent that.
Is it part of depression that little things annoy me about my wife? Is it part of the illness that I think someone else will make me feel better when I know that the chances of finding someone else who could even tolerate my moods are nil? Or is that just a middle age male thing?
I reveal most of my feelings to other ill people. This is not surprising, as most of us have found a kinship with people who suffer from the same problems. We do not fear rejection or ridicule from someone who understands. I am sure my wife would try to understand . . . but it’s hard for her to offer anything. So I shut her out.
poster:Greg A.
thread:218948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030414/msgs/219306.html