Posted by IsoM on November 12, 2002, at 18:58:40
In reply to Re: I hate myself, posted by jyl on November 12, 2002, at 12:52:09
Jyl, we're not monkeys but we can learn a lot about behaviour from them. I thought of a study that had been done when I read your post. Let me tell you what I "think" it says.
Researchers noticed that some of the monkeys in their study were outgoing & dominant while others were shy, timid, & held back from trying new things. The offspring of the two diff types also grew up like their mothers. They wondered if it was a result of inheriting these tendencies or of learning them from the mothers.
So they took some babies from the timid mothers & gave them to the dominant outgoing mothers to raise. The wanted to see how the babies would turn out. It was found that these babies from timid mothers would be more outgoing from growing up with the privileges afforded a top monkey. But when it came down to the crunch, when new & perhaps frightening & dangerous things came up, these supposedly bolder monkeys showed their true nature. They ran & hid or ran for cover. They were the last to try out new stimuli. Even with the best of environments from a top ranking mom, their nature was still that of their timid, subservient mom.
Now, we're not monkeys as I said. But if your daughters grow up shy or grow up outgoing, it's far more than you setting a "bad" example for them. We're not such mindless little robots. There's many things involved. I don't think motherhood (or fatherhood) should be filled with guilt & doubt. As long as we do our best, shower them with love & acceptance, & provide a framework of discipline & principles, our kids will grow up pretty fine. Everybody makes mistakes but we're malleable enough to grow up right anyway.
poster:IsoM
thread:32118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021106/msgs/32157.html