Posted by beardedlady on May 6, 2002, at 6:12:20
In reply to Re: Sibling Loss » Paige, posted by sid on May 5, 2002, at 21:47:09
I've had a bit of grief. After my daughter was born, the best dog in the universe died. Then my grandmother, with whom I was very close, died unexpectedly two weeks later. And then my father-in-law of 16 years died.
I should have sought help after my grandmother died. I had never lost anyone before, and the dog nearly put me over the edge; my gram definitely did. But I was nursing a baby, and when I cried, she cried. I sort of had to stop feeling so bad. I felt like my milk was curdling!
A year later, an accupunturist put some needles somewhere and I wept uncontrollably. She told me that I was still deeply grieving and that it was a major source of some of my troubles.
So it's important that you find some support group or therapist or someone to talk it out with, because it's a very lonely place otherwise.
It's four years later, and I cry sometimes. But I can also think of them and how they brought so much joy into my life and actually smile! I don't know that the pain of grief ever goes away, but you do learn to live with it, and, in doing so, you begin to notice it less and less.
I told someone once it was like living with a mole on your cheek. It first grows there, and you think of it constantly. But soon, you stop noticing it when you look in the mirror. It just doesn't bother you anymore. But once in awhile, you'll find a hair growing out of it, and it'll become fresh for a moment.
Please know that it takes some time, and be patient. But also be good to yourself. Forgive yourself everything. And cry as much as you want or need to. But do talk about it with someone regularly.
Good luck and best wishes,
beardy : )>
poster:beardedlady
thread:23149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020430/msgs/23167.html