Posted by Mark H. on December 13, 2001, at 19:19:50
In reply to Re: I think the worst may be over., posted by Dinah on December 13, 2001, at 15:48:03
Hi Dinah,
I have a friend who is a good mother, a capable business owner, a talented community volunteer, brilliant, funny and charming. She doesn't drink alcohol or use illegal drugs (her husband is a policeman, after all). She doesn't have affairs or engage in any improper behavior. In fact, if she didn't admit it (and occasionally get hospitalized for "dehydration"), no one would know that she is an anorexic and a self-cutter.
Since she avoids the usual mechanisms of addiction, she has instead become addicted to information about herself -- high intensity interactions with intelligent men she can hook into examining the *content* of her personal history rather than looking at the *process* of her unsatiable addictive behavior.
But her behavior is *exactly* the same as that of an alcoholic -- except she's "dry." I wonder if there is a 12-step program for people who are not on alcohol or drugs?
I'm really glad you're feeling better. I, too, recommend that you find a new therapist, one who does it for a living full-time and can provide a predictable schedule, and preferably, a strong no-nonsense woman, so that sex and gender issues might be less intense for you.
If you want a mantra that will help, try this one (borrowed from another person on the path): "I have everything I need to be happy right now." If you will repeat that 300 times, you will feel better. But for it to work, you have to say it out load and actually count. Each time a negative thought comes up in response to the statement, just say, "Thank you" and repeat the statement.
There's not one person in 100 who will take this advice -- even though it only takes about 15 minutes to do the experiment -- but if you do, I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
With kind regards,
Mark H.
poster:Mark H.
thread:15439
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15495.html