Posted by sar on December 5, 2001, at 14:57:55
In reply to Re: siblings » sar, posted by Mair on December 4, 2001, at 22:09:14
it was interesting to read all of the different stories on this thread...
i think, Mair, that it must have been me that used the word "scared" originally regarding my brother, but he's said that he can't deal with me...a few weeks ago i sat in the frontyard in a moment of quiet lucidity, hapiness, and when my brother drove up i asked why he wouldn't talk to me. he didn't really have an answer for me and went on to point out that i'm a "manic-depressive alcoholic" and that it's a waste that i dropped out of school. i told him that i needed to rest and to please excuse the corny cliche, but to figure out who i was.
basically we are oil and water. i pick my jeans up off the floor, throw on some flip-flops and am out on some adventures. my brother has his Abercrombie & Fitch jeans washed and--yes--ironed by my mother. he works out on friday and saturday nights...he doesn't drink, smoke, or do any drugs (except psychedelics!--weird glitch there) and won't drive me to the store for if i want alcohol or cigarettes, "won't support me in my bad habits." you're right, i think it hurts him to watch me hurt myself, but he's frozen up on me....but i think he's all starchy buttoned-up because he's never moved out of my parents home and probably has (as i do, and i think my mother does) social anxiety disorder. he keeps to himself so much that i think he can't appreciate how the rest of the world lives. (he once spewed spleen all over me and called me a "common thief" when i took some quarters from his dresser to do laundry...little did i know, he was collecting the special statehood quarters....aarrrgggh.)
my sister and i have never gotten along. she's 28, and a few years ago a therapist advised her to cut herself off from the family, and she has. we did try to rekindle our friendship over the summer through e-mail, but i realized after a month or 2 that i still didn't like her! like really didn't like her and told her no more e-mail. she's stayed in contact with my brother, but she and i have always been--well, she always kicked my ass when i was a kid. years later i realize that maybe she was jealous (i never had weight problems, did better in school, boys called for me, etc).
anyway, i have *rambled* on and on...this one's for myself so if you're still reading, congrats and thank you, you may go to sleep now.
sar
poster:sar
thread:14812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14968.html