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Re: Free Will,Responsibility, Especially in Depres » jojo

Posted by B Day on November 20, 2000, at 18:08:21

In reply to Re: Free Will,Responsibility, Especially in Depression, posted by jojo on November 20, 2000, at 17:24:09

> Is guilt not a major problem for people with
> clinical depression. No one here seems to have
> much of a problem, or interest in, it. I wonder
> why it's still a part of the Hamilton Depression
> Inventory?

Jojo,

I can only speak for myself, but in my case I think I felt more guilt when I didn't understand the nature my depression so well as I do now. I've also tried to apply a number of self-helping therapies which I think have helped lessen feelings I've had of guilt, shame and anxiety.

A part of my healing has been for me to try to better understand differences between parts of my existence I have been and am responsible for and can do something about and the parts I'm not and can't. Learning about my guilt, shame and anxiety more fully has allowed me to let go of some things I held onto that were hurting me.

I realized once that rather than being in control of myself and life, I had forfeited control to the feelings, thoughts and pressures which guilt, shame and anxiety brought with them. Rather than me managing my life, these things managed me. They literally drove my behavior.

The worry caused by guilt, etc. seems to keep me occupied with either the past or future and thus disables me from living in the present. That's bad since the "right here, right now" is ultimately the only thing that we will ever be able to effect for positive change. So, letting go of things like guilt is a regular part of my recovery from depression.

I'm certainly not my best these days, nor am I always successful in doing things that can help me. Letting go of negative driving forces happens many times during some of my days. Sometimes they simply defeat me, but getting to know my demons and learning ways I can take their powers away has helped me considerably. Without these tools I suspect I would be as guilty feeling as anyone ever the Hamilton Inventory was ever intended for.

Yours,

B


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