Posted by DAisym on November 6, 2008, at 16:05:31
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't get it » sassyfrancesca, posted by llurpsienoodle on November 6, 2008, at 14:47:07
It won't be just your husband - most people have trouble understand the devastating effects of something that happened more than 30 years ago. And honestly, if I'd not had it happen to me, I wouldn't completely get how very REAL it feels right now - like it just happened. Stored trauma reasserts itself like a hammer but it is a hard concept to really wrap your mind around.
So I agree - stop explaining.
But I have a tough question for you - and I'm asking out of friendship and concern - Why are you still working with the book right now if it is making you so much worse? Because I'm here to tell you that no matter what you do, you can't hurry the process. You must guard your life and resources from being completely destroyed by this stage. For many of us, that means titrating the memory and the work. And it occurs to me to worry that you might also be punishing yourself (sub-consciously) because you are not over all this - and perhaps for those things that we all say to ourselves, "how could I have let that happen? How could I not have told after?" etc. etc. And this whole thing has another layer for you since he didn't just hurt you.
I'm worried about you. Please take it slow and careful.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:DAisym
thread:861120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861149.html