Posted by llurpsienoodle on November 6, 2008, at 14:47:07
In reply to Re: My husband doesn't get it » Partlycloudy, posted by sassyfrancesca on November 6, 2008, at 14:01:12
oh husbands...
Well, we can speculate WHY he's reacting the way he is, but really the important thing is to focus on understanding yourself. H will find a way to understand things on his own terms, using his own senses. He has his own filters and defense mechanisms and what not.
I like SassyF's ideas about this stuff. Maybe one thing you could explain a little bit is specific things he can do to help (the KISS idea) "honey- I need you to do some housework today, because my head and back are aching and I've got zero energy"
I'm sorry that you're feeling so discouraged. You are NOT the same person that you were back then. This time around, you are able to ask for help, and there are people there who are listening. Your caring therapeutic team ( I LOVE your approach of recruiting such a diverse group of helping professionals) and your husband, who has a deep well of good intentions. And babblefolks. And friends, and kitty, and many many other sources of support.
Depression is such a devastating condition. It robs us of all self-compassion and optimism. self-directed cruelty. I wish I could help you see all the evidence that you are special, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, warm, pretty, funny, original, intelligent. But me just saying these things are likely to bounce off your ego, rather than sticking to it. But just because they won't stick doesn't mean that they're not true.
Be gentle with yourself. The reason why you are feeling the way you feel is because it's the best job you can do, the best solution you've been able to come up with to a very very difficult set of circumstances
thinking of you,
gentle plush hugs
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:861120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/861134.html