Posted by rskontos on November 4, 2008, at 12:16:19
In reply to Life shouldn't be this hard - triggers, posted by DAisym on November 4, 2008, at 0:49:16
DAisym,
You are right life shouldn't be so hard. And in no way did you make it hard. I am sorry for you that you got put in another situation where your only choice was to dissociate.
But you do have an amazing T. And it is totally amazing to me that you did tell him all you did. I would and still do find it hard to talk straight about what I feel and what I remember and what I don't want to remember.
Sex. It is hard to get comfortable with it. I believe in all the women I have known in my life only one I have known loved it more than her husband. I always thought wow.
For me, I have not ever known why I struggled with sex until recently. Until my t helped me realized the bad things I went through in my childhood were not normal and slowly my brain decided to let me in on the secrets hidden within. I knew I often dissociated for long periods of times and who knew what happened during that time. I know sometimes i submitted although I did not want to.
In my marriage I have done the same thing. It has been difficult. My h doesn't really understand. I try to explain but...
So I understand your reluctance to share with your new guy. i understand that it might be necessary at some point because submission can only hurt you further.
I wish I could wave a magic wand over all of us here that were hurt so.
It just isn't right.
I am just so sorry. I wish I could wipe the tears away as well the source of the pain.
I am glad you have such a great T.
I wish I had something helpful. But I don't.
Just know I care.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:860690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/860747.html