Posted by greyskyeyes on July 22, 2005, at 10:27:45
In reply to Power of Honesty --- (Full On Trigger) Long, posted by daisym on July 22, 2005, at 2:32:30
Daisy,
I haven't been posting here very long so I hope I'm not being presumptuous. I've lurked for a while (since December, actually) and sort of gotten to "know" a lot of people through reading all the posts. You seem to me to be a strong, capable and vibrant woman, one with a large capacity for caring. I know it's hard to feel strong and capable sometimes but it shows in your posts, in the challenges you've weathered, in the support you give to others. You are one of the rocks on this board and your presence would be sorely missed.
My paternal grandfather killed himself when my father was 12. I have always regretted not having the chance to know him. I treasure my relationships with my other 3 grandparents, and can only imagine what it would have been like with him. I found out recently that he was a very accomplished musician, and it made me cry because I am one myself and always wondered where it came from. I would have loved to play the piano for him.
Your boys would miss you deeply, and their children will miss you deeply if you are not there to watch them grow up, to spoil them and give them kisses. Watch your boys at night when they sleep, that angelic sleep which is so transient as they always wake up and morph into devilish creatures. Watch them, love them, and realize that killing yourself would also kill the feeling of that love.
You have a wonderful T. I'm so glad to hear you've let him in on this, and are letting him help you. Lean on him. Now let him be your rock. And let Babble be your rock.
I hope this all made sense, and again I hope I wasn't being presumptuous... words have a way of coming out all wrong for me. Just know that there's someone in the DC area of the States who cares about you and is rooting for you. You can survive this.
~ greyskyeyes
p.s. I'm always a bit leery about giving hugs in case they're not wanted (I'm not a huggy person myself), but here's one if you would like it: ((((((((((Daisy))))))))))
poster:greyskyeyes
thread:531402
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/531504.html