Posted by annierose on July 22, 2005, at 7:27:05
In reply to Power of Honesty --- (Full On Trigger) Long, posted by daisym on July 22, 2005, at 2:32:30
Dasiy -
I am so glad you found the support you needed to get past your date (which is my niece's birthday and my sister's weddding anniversary btw).
One of my closest friends father killed himself. It is a pain that she lives with daily. It's always there, "why would he do this to me?" "didn't he want to see me get married?" "didn't he care about me?". I think, for children, they take it personally.
Your pain is so strong. I hope you find the strength to keep fighting back. You are loved and so important to many people, especially your children. Even though they are almost "grown up", they still need their mom. You'll need to help them pick out their tux for their wedding, buy the best toys for your granchildren ... so much of your life has yet to unfold. So much good stuff yet to experience. Right now, you're uncovering all that pain that you had to bury to go on with your life. Now, with the help of the best therapist on the planet Earth, he can help you sort through all that mucky muck. And it takes so much time. You had to bury all that pain for 20? 30? years, so it's going to take a few to get all of it out there. The reward is so great. You can do this. But it is so darn HARD.
I think I remember that you stopped taking your medication, do you feel those urges got stronger once you stopped? I know you felt it wasn't helping you, but maybe it kept those urges at bay.
I am glad your t wants daily contact. The weekend can seem like a long time.
Thinking of you,
Annierose
poster:annierose
thread:531402
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/531442.html