Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2020, at 23:44:06
In reply to Re: flattery, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 5, 2020, at 1:27:01
I have heard people say 'you catch more flies with honey' to which I thought 'but what do you want with catching flies?'
I was friends with a guy quite a while ago now, and he was really good at flattery. He used to use it to get funding. From government agencies and politicians and the like. For good purposes / use. He ran / managed a centre for kids who had been kicked out of school.
I saw that he got many things that he would not get if he wasn't good at flattery.
I could see that people could see that he was flattering them. They seem to see it / realise it for what it is. But they don't seem to be able to help the fact that hearing those good things / being around a person who is obviously intending to charm them is enjoyable. They enjoy it. They like it. They don't seem able to help themselves.
So it gave him power to get and achieve things he could not / would not have otherwise.
I think he was a genuine person. He liked making other people feel good. Jovial. Jolly. He was a big guy so was able to convey it in a way that sort of worked. I don't know.
Other people are more... Sychophantic. Saying things that they know are false. Yes sir no sir anything you say sir. Pandering. He wasn't like that. Sickly sweet. He wasn't like that.
It isn't in my nature, at all.
I think it is because I'm female and the way that other people interact with me is something that annoys me a lot in the first place.
Like how I would see that in the gym people would give the big guys their space. Out of respect (it seemed to me). It was unthinking and involuntary.
The idea of chivalry. Having power and choosing to use it for good. So letting the lady go first. Making sure the lady has her space and isn't crowded or jostled.
The idea of survival of the fittest.
It was about hierarchy only in the gym. People would routinely bump and crowd me in an attempt to say 'hi' even.
It didn't matter how growly I looked. How many hoods I put up. HOw many sunglasses I put on.
_____
I used to think that it's okay... People get to know you. Get to know you.
________
But people, here, don't know me at all. They treat me like I'm a retarded child. They keep insinuating I have mental health problems and I'm slow and...
Whatever whatever whatever whatever...
I've never met such horrible people in my life.
Sigh.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1107689
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20190715/msgs/1107706.html