Posted by twinleaf on October 4, 2010, at 9:52:43
In reply to I wish I lived up to my potential, posted by Deneb on October 4, 2010, at 2:09:33
It's so painful to feel that way. You can definitely build a good life for yourself, with professional accomplishments, friends, your own family, but it might not happen without more intensive, long-term therapy. If you look through the Psychology archives, there are a number of people who achieved all these goals with psychotherapy, and you can, too.
What about getting a job and then finding a male psychodynamic therapist? The fact that you have such strong positive feelings for Bob seems like an excellent reason for choosing a man- and also an excellent sign that you would gain a lot from therapy. There, you can gradually work through all those feelings until you are able to have equally strong and loving relationships IRL. Don't misunderstand me: I think it is very positive to have such strong feelings for Bob, but you wouldn't want to get towards 40 or 50 with him still being the most important relationship in your life. You wouldn't lose him; you would just add on other people. He can always remain as a positive influence and mentor for you.
If you do begin long-term therapy, an eventual goal might be to reduce the amount of SSRIs that you are taking. They reduce motivation in so many people that they could be doing the same to you. And you are taking a lot for your body weight! There are a number of posters here who have done just that while in long-term therapy- I no longer take any, for example, and feel much more energized and motivated now.
You can do anything you want with your life. For reasons you really don't know, you've had a rougher than average start. But you can definitely have a strong and happy finish, as many others have. In a way, you are like a "Babble daughter" to some of us, and we definitely want the best for you!
poster:twinleaf
thread:964652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100907/msgs/964666.html